12/24/09 Mid-Morning Report: It’s Christmas Eve, can a jew get a table dance?
Yes Money McBags lights the menorah and it looks like the market wants him to get those table dances tonight as it is up again on positively mixed news. Durable goods orders rose, though missed...
View Article2/3/10 Midafternoon Report: Market seeking direction like troubled teen in...
The market is mostly lower today despite some moderately postive macro reports (moderately positive in the way that learning you have syphilis is moderately more positive than learning you have nut...
View Article2/4/10 Midday Report: Market shows Paris Hilton isn’t the only thing that can...
Tim-motherfucking-ber. The market is nosediving today like a Biggest Loser contestant going after the last gravy covered deep fried twinkie at an all you can eat “stuff that’s bad” for you bar (and no...
View Article3/3/10 Midday Report: Service sector expands thus providing most valuable...
The market is up again as the service industry grew more than forecast last month thanks to more people stopping off at McDonalds on their way to the unemployment office and then washing their sorrows...
View Article4/5/2010 Midday Report: iPad so awesome it even creates jobs
It’s the jobs, stupid. Good Friday was great Friday for the economy as investors got the day off to spend their hard earned dollars on cheap imported crap from China while the Labor Department...
View Article6/4/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs report challenges Marmaduke movie for...
The (No) Labor Department’s jobs report came out today and was well below analyst guesses which sent the market tumbling like Tony Hayward’s Q score at a Greenpeace convention. The US added 431k jobs...
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7/2/10 Midafternoon Report: More bad macro data leaves US worker in desperate...
Money McBags was initially in a good mood this morning as when he was scouring the internet for news/data/information, he learned that Wonder Woman was turning a delicious 69 (and it is news like that...
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8/6/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs number disappoints again as people ask...
The market fell for most of the day before being bizarrely bailed out at the close for no reason other than to seemingly allow Money McBags to write that alliterative phrase. The big news was that the...
View Article11/9/10 Midevening Report: As QE2 Hangover Wears Off, Will Market Wake Up in...
It was another lackluster day in the market as investors are still trying to regain their bearings from last week’s quadruple news high of elections, QE2, the jobs report, and Kat Dennings nude photos...
View Article3/12/11 Day After Report: Market Hit by a Spoogenami
While there may have been a tsunami in Japan (and Money McBags heard rumors that it was caused by everything from Godzilla and Mothra learning that they had invested their savings with Bernie Madoff to...
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